If You’re Running and Fighting You Don’t Want to Sh*t Your Pants So Better Hold That In!
So much is based on survival.
We often act out of survival even when there is no need.
We’re doing it all the time as that’s how we are wired, but you know that.
So how do we stop?
Before I go into how we can stop, I want to go on a bit of a rant about survival and why we choose that and how it’s pretty much automatic for us to do so and then look at how we can interrupt it when we train ourselves to have the consciousness to do so.
Hi, I’m Zoey and I’m a survivalist…
No, really. I was wired for looking for trouble since womb grade (even before my eyes were open).
So I think I know a few things about this topic, perhaps.
But trying to survive in a world where technically I have been safe all my life is quite annoying if you ask me.
It’s exhausting.
I’m into thriving as well… so you can see why this would be annoying.
But my understanding of survival is that it’s actually mostly in your body, which is connected to your mind but think about it…
If I consciously know that no one is out to hurt me and yet my digestive system goes, nope, we’re holding everything in right now because you’re going to have to fight or run (God please don’t freeze) then what’s the big deal, why does it keep happening?
I’ve had plenty of experience with this particular stress response in my body where when the cortisol kicks in and your body goes into adrenaline shock getting ready to run/fight/freeze and of course if you’re running and fighting you don’t want to shit your pants so better hold that in.
Anyone else on the “gut healing journey”?
Anyways, like I said, it’s annoying. Sending my gut all the love for protecting me. Thank you, gut!
Back to it.
Many times we’re totally conscious that something is fearful. At least in my world where I train myself and women like me to see this happening and what to do, it’s normal to notice when it’s happening.
But I get it, not everyone has this ability.
The trick is to verbally and mentally and even in a journal, take note of what happens when you have an external trigger that sets you off into “gotta survive mode”.
It’s even better when you can talk about how you react out loud because you’re training your brain to understand these responses and therefore your subconscious will actively work to heal this behavior pattern that is not serving you in most situations, and then your conscious self will know how to spot them easier and interrupt them so you hopefully don’t cause a storm of chaos..
THAT’S THE NAME OF THE GAME.
For just about any behavior change, this is the process in which you must go through.
It’s the framework that I use inside the Rich Girl School which is to actively awaken, become aware, accept how our parents fucked us up (I love you mom) and then run alchemy on that beast.
But all jokes aside, you do need to consciously use this phase of the process which I call The 4A’s Phase.
You’re not a beast, it’s just really helpful to your brain to personify the parts and behaviors you hold as kind of like this separate being from yourself.
Because ultimately, it’s not you. It’s only LEARNED behavior.
So why is it that our go to methods are to literally ACT in a way that shrinks us back down, moves us away from our goals, and has us stay inside the comfortable box that actually makes us feel like we’re dying?
Hmm good question, Zoey.
Do you know?
Want the simple answer?
Everything we do is learned behavior.
We have to UNLEARN and RELEARN (phase 2 and 3 of my framework which I call the Deconditioning and Reconditioning Phases) how to be in the world in a way that can and will and does make all our dreams come swiftly to us with a happy smile on our face!
Again, these are the methods I use within Rich Girl School to reshape the way we be, feel and act with and about money.
In turn you actually change your whole life because the learnings have a ripple effect on every area of your life.
So how do we step outside the self imposed box of our smallness and into a new big world full of our dreams coming true?
At some point or another we actually have to remove ourselves from the situations and people who help keep these in place. That’s one thing that must be done.
No I’m not saying disown your family, part of this process is actually forgiving them and becoming closer to them if you want that, which I highly suggest (unless of course they are actually not safe).
But let’s say that everytime you want to try something new and someone close to you says, “oh no that’s impossible”, then that’s just them trying to put their box over you, which has already been done because likely you’re modeling after that person anyways.
You have to say no.
You have to say enough is enough. Stop turning to the people and situations that keep you and your body and mind stuck in past programming.
This is so you can seperate yourself from those situations and start doing the looking and thinking about your behaviors, the way you think and act in any given situation or with particular people.
To me this is the fun part. I love psychoanalyzing myself and other people.
Human behavior is quite fascinating!
You’ll start having these moments of “why the F did you do that, say that, or act that way, Zoey?”
Don’t worry there is also a lot of forgiveness happening because you must forgive yourself for acting like an idiot so many times in your life.
We all do it. Unless you’re perfect, which in this case, why are you reading this blog, go away.
You need to educate yourself on what’s happening inside your body, about what exactly triggers you, which is usually just the story you’re telling yourself about some other person or situation externally from you.
You have to learn to pause and breathe.
You have to learn to notice your reactions and see them for what they are. They are reactions from a trigger.
An external trigger then sets off an internal trigger, such as what you say to yourself about the external trigger.
This is why The 4A’s Phase of my framework is so important. This is the deepest intimacy you can have with yourself.
No one else can do this for you.
No one else can train your brain.
Obviously you can have someone help you, this is the work I do, but ultimately it’s on you to follow through EVERYDAY.
If you’re in survival and stressed emotionally then I invite you to pause and notice it, that’s first.
And this might sound silly but what if you do something really strange like jump up from where you’re sitting and yell out “Whoa MAMA!”, to snap yourself out of it?
What if while you’re depressed you make yourself jump up and yell out “Whoa MAMA, I am so happy!”, over and over until you can’t stop laughing?
THIS is the kind of interruption you need to train yourself to be less significant about what’s going on in your life.
THIS Is the kind of bodily interruption you need to train yourself that nothing is wrong here.
Because remember like I said earlier, it’s your body that does this survival thing. It’s your cellular memory working on autopilot.
And trust me, I know all about making things significant. I’ve had a brother who committed suicide, a mom who tried, childhood sexual assault, and basically felt like no one loved me for many many years, and sometime felt hungry as a young child.
But I wanted a life I loved and to no longer suffer.
It is a choice. Sure, not an easy one, but it is a choice.
Day after day it’s a choice to interrupt the old patterns and choose something new, to choose the unknown.
It takes approaching and INTERRUPTING whatever negative emotional state you’re in WITH A DIFFERENT POSITIVE EMOTIONAL STATE.
If I can do it, anyone can.
You may feel silly at first but you’ll get used to it. Plus it makes this whole process way more fun!
In a world where survival mode is actually triggered by advertising specialists, be the conscious creator who sees it for what it is and has no reaction.
In a world where perception is projection, create a safe haven within yourself that ultimately creates safety in your external environment because you choose it to be that way.
Don’t stop unlearning and relearning, my friends.
If you’re ready now to put all these methods into a deeper practice, increase your income by 10–50%, change your relationship with money and make your whole life better then join us inside Rich Girl School, where you learn how to break up with Broke Betty (Broke Betty being that personification of your survival queen working it’s sabotaging and destructive habits on your life)!
Just click the Rich Girl School tab above on the menu and tap the nearest payment button to get immediate access to your new school where anything is possible.
See you soon!
Love,
Zoey
