Reinvention Is Coming
Deep in my core I fear that I am not loveable.
Like I at times experience it as true. Like an inescapable truth about who I really am.
On the surface and even consciously I experience being loved by many and even by me more than ever before at this point in my life….
But that doesn’t always matter when the core is cracked or seems to be cracked or whatever anybody wants to call it.
Language can seem… feel… limited…
The WHY doesn’t really matter here, or sometimes it does but I won’t go into it fully.
Things happened, like they do for all of us when we are children.
The unfinished, the unexamined, the ways of being and unattended to trauma and core beliefs and values that our parents had were, undoubtedly, given to us with no choice on our part, and OFTEN if not always, and almost yes without their choice either, were molded into the very BEING-NESS of who we are now.
It could be sad and at times I know it has been for me and many I know, love, and coach, it is the experience of sadness, hurt, pain and suffering.
And yet we still have choice and we still have the ability to gain awareness, forgiveness, and CREATING NEWLY WHO WE TRULY ARE AT OUR CORE.
The core of…
Who we know ourselves to be underneath it all.
Who we want to be underneath all the “seeming” missed-takes we’ve made.
Who we SAY we are BECOMING right now regardless of any past circumstances or what anybody said to us or even more.. what we allowed ourselves to believe about ourselves.
So it’s a choice and always will be to choose again every single day we wake up.
Just like we choose every single day what we eat, what we’re going to say yes to or what we’re going to say no to.
And even if you think it’s not a choice, it is.
Even NOT choosing is still a choice.
I know with my conscious mind that I can become whoever, whatever I want to be…
And yet deep below the surface and into my subconscious mind, the program, the automatic me does still repeat patterns that are not quite desired, that sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever shed and be gone with them once and for all!!!!
But the truth is IT IS A PROCESS.
One in which you cannot do for one day and expect massive change.
The biggest leap I’ve made has been between 2018 to now.
And in between that time I keep making those changes, I keep coming closer to myself, I keep learning my patterns, loving me anyways, forgiving OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN and continuing on knowing that I can be whoever I want to be.
See, I understand it’s a struggle.
I understand it seems like we will never change or that Our business will never change or that we’ll ever make the amount of money we want to make or that we’ll be loved the way we want to be loved.
But as long as you never allow yourself to sit stagnant not doing a dang thing about it… but you are ACTIVE in your UNBECOMING and creative in who you are BECOMING…
Then nothing but good can come from this.
Nothing but elevation and celebration can come from this.
Nothing but learning more of who you are at your core can come from this.
Now I know that my statement above is not true.
The words on this word doc as I write are only letters and portray my thoughts BUT…
The essence of who I am and who you are cannot be described in words or sentences or even anything I can say to you…
Just…… it’s just a presence that you can sense within yourself once you clear out all the noise.
Noises of coaches, teachers, parents, therapists, the demon voice inside your head that does betray you.. Because it’s not you.
I am and you are the one who watches it all, who sees it, hears it and is aware of everything – or not aware of everything.
So will that core fear I have ever go away?
Will the behaviors and patterns that ceaselessly try to prove this core fear ever stop their faint whisper within?
Ultimately when you reach the silence and you listen all you hear is love.
And that’s God.
That’s me.
That’s you.
That’s love.
And so the moral or the point I want to remind myself and that I wish you to see too is that AWARENESS Is your most powerful tool.
Because until you see the automatic you/me, the program, the blueprint of your being/my being… then we’ll continue to be controlled by it, with IT constantly trying to prove all your/my core beliefs as TRUE.
And when you seperate yourself from them. You can then choose to be free. Because we all have a choice, day after day to start new.
And even though I share this on the internet I share it with my people too and I sit with what I’m dealing with and transform it inside me through the light of awareness…. And that’s what human intimacy is, with others, with yourself.
Revealing what occurs to you as your deepest self and knowing you are so much more than that.
So what’s possible now? New you. New thoughts. New standards. New ways of being. New finances. New body. New speech. New habits. New levels of connection, success, and impact on the world around you.
P.S. If you’re ready for a reinvention of who you are right now – NOT based on the past – join me for my REINVENTED 30 Day Challenge which kicks off October 22nd.
