Shrinking To Fit In

I kept shrinking back, getting smaller and smaller.

Which felt out of the ordinary, I fought back and kept giving my power away to a life I didn’t actually want.

What I thought was growth was really shrunken drunk delusional-ness, an icky shadow of the past.

Man I thought I loved you hard enough to remove you from existence.

Man I thought I healed this aspect of myself.

When really I needed to keep loving all the parts of me that were meant to shine and be loud and make waves in the universe that can’t be ignored. 

Smaller and smaller I pulled back, I pulled out, I opted for a no instead of being all in. 

An in order to…

In order to be loved.

In order to get attention.

In order to feel the shame so that he thought I was learning my lesson.

When in reality I had values that I allowed to disappear in the background of my life, fighting against a higher self screaming silently at the top of her ethereal lungs. 

Begging the question over and over if this was right…

But the ‘in order to’ spoke first and almost always had the last word. 

Shrinking shrinking more and more, the vision smaller and smaller in the rearview. 

But this lesson can be thanked with tremendous gratefulness for exiting stage right and flipping this bitch around. 

Switch Flicked Finally

The switch flicked in the blink of an eye and once again I came to know myself as the powerful female that I am and was always meant to be. 

Back to her she represents herself to the new now. 

The newness of clear vision and responsibility and a reclamation of what was always meant to be hers. 

Yeah, don’t you feel that? 

Can’t you NOT ignore her, knocking and shrieking at the door waiting to burst through her coffin, from rags to riches of the mind, spirit, and world. 

This is your chance, will you take it or shrink back?

The shrink so ugly at this point it can’t even be fathomed on a scale of worthiness. 

The shrink back falling away into the background, the foreground growing brighter and looking like home. 

I can’t promise that it will be an easy road but I can promise that I will never walk out on you ever again. 

I promise to hold your hand through it all and love you unconditionally so. 

So much so that even Earth will feel it. 

Seeing Life For What It Is Clearly

She rose up and decided to blossom in ways that just couldn’t be hidden any longer and that’s when the clock struck time and all delusions melted away to clear seeing, clear vision, clear views of what was, is, and always will be FOREVER. 

It’s not about getting it right my friend. It’s about the journey and what you learn from it. 

It’s about becoming the woman you were always meant to be and conquering fears and enemies on the path to Grace and spaciousness of creativity. 

You can’t get it wrong. 

You can’t fuck it up. 

You can’t choose the right or wrong path. 

You can’t mess up so badly that nothing gets accomplished in this lifetime. 

You can’t. 

Impossible. 

So therefore run and jump and soar to the heights you can only dream of and see with your eyes. You’re going there, you’ll see. She is here now and she is once again let loose from contractions of the mind and physical body. 

Feel deeply. 

Express bigly. 

Be bold, audacious, outside the box with it. 

And always keep your power for yourself and righteous ways of the heart. 

Keep delusions at arm length and why not, keep them further. 

Stay focused and poised in the knowing that all is as it should be, right now, right here, everywhere and at all times. 

Remember who you are. 

You are loved. 

I got you. 

I love you

& You’re Mine

Zoey Linnea